Rollerderby

This post should technically be dated 8/22/06. I had been meaning to write about this unique, Baltimorean experience, but real life and work once again began whomping me in the jimmies and subsequently keeping me from my newly beloved blog.

So, those who ask themselves, "What is rollerderby?" SHAME ON YOU. If you haven't seen or heard of roller derby, you are missing out on one of life's most shameful, and at the same time delicious, activities. I remember watching roller derby for the first time back in Cincinnati, on UPN 25, the most ghetto of all ghetto television stations. It would later receive competition for this award by channels such as WB64 and channel 45 (whose programming just plain sucked). Anyway, back to topic. I was up late watching UPN's weekend Japanimation movie, only to have it be interrupted by a nationally-televised (albeit at 3:27am in the morning) roller derby match. It was fascinating how the fat woman could absolutely obliterate the smaller ones by checking them with their Grand Canyonesque hips. I didn't understand the rules, nor did I care, because I was captivated by the female on female violence. I'm not well, I know.

Well, back to Baltimore roller derby. I was invited by a friend who has intimate connections to the Bmore derby world and I will admit, visiting the rather anti-Ticketmasteresque ticket services website www.brownpapertickets.com, any such grand assumptions I may have had, were raped and pillaged. The Charm City Roller Girls, as the four Baltimore teams are collectively known, represent roller derby in a truly grass roots form. The perform in a skating rink, which at first thought, might seem logical, until you realize that their are no barriers protecting the "athletes" from the audience. This is not to say that the audience would ever attack one of the ladies during a "jam", but when one of the smaller, defter ladies gets a solid cross check from a Betsy Battleaxe, that woman, quite frankly, is gonna get that ass tossed. Sans barriers, that woman is bound to land in the audience, more on that later, however.

I must end this post prematurely, my fellow "friends", are back and I want to whoop their ass at Warcraft 3. I will continue soon with pictures and a better description of both the sport in and of itself, and the culture surrounding it.